30, now what?
We need to talk about the crazy expectations that comes with your 30s.
As I turned 30 last year, I started to reflect on aging, also some things began to happen, and I went deep into it. As most of my friends are also between 28 and 33, by sharing my thoughts and experiences, I came to a painful conclusion that the world places something even more substantial on our shoulders which are intrinsic in all women's lives.
Let’s talk about my analysis of the topic:
The questions about getting married, having kids, all family-related, will start popping like there is nothing else in the world for a woman to care about but don't be fooled into thinking that it's only older people who ask, yet everyone. And for all the "I don't know" replies, you will feel more and more like a weirdo because how dare you? Apparently, everything is not worth it for women anymore, and there is nothing else to do, think, or achieve, especially if you are in a long-lasting relationship.
If you are unsatisfied with your job/career, others' judgment will be more vital around you. And apparently, you need to suck it up because you are almost or 30. How come you didn't notice the problems sooner and changed jobs? Now, it's too little too late. Also, if you are thinking about changing your career at this age, you are seen as inconsequential. Most people around you will make you believe the problem is in you and not your job/career, that you should seek help; because you should be thankful for the successful path you built. Why change it? In the end, it's almost like living in a trial where people want to convince you that you really don't know what's best for you, only them. Crazy woman!
If you are in a long relationship or engaged but thinking about breaking up, everyone around you will encourage you not to do it. People will tell you that love doesn't exist as you believe, and you should focus on what is good, even if it only represents 10% of your relationship. 30 and single? Never! You are outrageous. Your relationship is fantastic, besides you are the only one who can't see it. Imagine downloading dating apps now. Is that what you want for your life? Women are only complete when having a man by their side to "protect" them, right? Because the world still is very much sexist.
If you gained some weight, you will end alone (or this is what society wants you to believe). Aging and being overweight is an unacceptable combo. You need to have your sh*t together, ALWAYS! Nobody will ask if you are healthy though, weight, in this society, means out of the expected beauty standards. You will be constantly questioned about what happened to you, if you're depressed, broke up, or because you are single, and how you should be more careful with how you treat your body because from now on is downhill.
The motherhood nature. If you don't want to be a mother, you are an alien. How dare you? Women must have kids. It's every woman's dream. Deep down, you want to, but you are afraid of it. After all, women will never feel complete if they don't become mothers. It is in your nature. You will entirely regret it in the future. Some will dare to ask you it is because of the pregnancy weight because everyone wants to have a kid. And you will never find someone to be with if you don't want to be a mother.
All of these situations and thoughts make me feel like I am half-dead already. From now on, I must adapt my life accordingly to the expectations of a woman in her 30s. Isn't it crazy?
The universe doesn't want women to create their own path. Someone will always judge you for starting over, doing something differently than the "correct" thing to do. There are always going to be big expectations on us for everything. Isn't it ironic?
We must break the chains of pre-assumptions and create our own. Stop the obsession of placing people inside boxes. You must have the courage to free yourself to discover who you really are and to be nothing but yourself. And also, promise me, from now on, you will think twice before judging your friend when she opens up to you about these subjects and expectations.
🟠 #INTERNETFINDS, sharing things that are worth the time:
Gwyneth Paltrow & Cameron Diaz: In Conversation ➞ An honest talk where Cameron Diaz opens her heart telling why people judged her for turning away from her successful acting career and why it is ok to wanting something new.
Research: When Juggling Work and Family, Women Offer More Emotional Support Than Men ➞ Exciting study by Harvard Business Review
Natalia Lafourcade: NPR Tiny Desk ➞ Combine with wine and enjoy the vibe.
Shakshuka With Feta | NYT Cooking ➞ An easy, healthy, and delicious recipe to try this weekend.
Picture a Scientist Documentary ➞ Researchers are writing a new chapter for women scientists to provide new perspectives on making science more diverse, equitable, and open to all.
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