And the Oscars goes to..

myself!

Dear Marina,

I would like to start this open letter by recognizing the woman you are becoming and telling you that you will never become (pause).. because your desire to constantly evolve makes you this admirable woman.

You were born in January, at the beginning of a new decade, the 1990s. You came to be noticed. You came as a shooting star—unique! 

Cheers to another woman in the world to be shaped and molded as society pleased, but were you? As a kid with that big stuffed belly running around happily and freely, you loved the attention and never had a problem with it. Your mom was your biggest hero (right after Posh Spice). Life was easy (with bits of drama), just how you love it. 

Being the youngest of three children, five years apart from your brother and four from your sister, you felt like a spoiled "only" child. You "screamed" at your siblings, "I am here to stay (and slay)." But as you were growing, the glow started to bother those around you. The belly could no longer be shown with pride because it began to be seen as out of shape. Out of shape of what? You didn't understand. 

You always had tits, first from fat, yet at only 10 years old, your body started to show you that your childhood was coming to an end; you were becoming a real woman with breasts as you had your first period. Do you still remember the shock in your father's eyes when your mom told him that Saturday morning that you got your period? You didn't understand. 

As your body changed, more people noticed you, and the more it bothered them how you behaved. Nobody likes a woman who is too much. You stopped being cute and were seen as trying to be sexy. But were you? You didn't choose to be; your body chose for you, especially since everyone forgot you were still a kid but in a woman's body now. The boys at school started to ask you if they could touch your boobs. And old men began to look at you differently. You didn't understand. 

Finally, teenage years arrived; you never really liked being young, right? Have you ever reflected on that? Was it because you were seen and expected to act as a woman from a very young age due to getting your period prematurely or because you wanted to be heard, as you were always seen as the youngest who knew nothing about anything? You were a wildly opinionated and confident woman from a very young age, and the world didn't expect that from you. Bossy. Bitch. Slut. Sassy. Emo. Why are people calling you names? You didn't understand. 

Everyone was doing it, but you never felt like everyone. Why don't you want to be like everyone? Why do you think you are special? Your light was too much. You often heard you needed to be put back in place. What place? The one thing you were sure of was that you wanted to be yourself, whatever that meant. But why did your path bother the other? You didn't understand. 

You had all these imaginary friends who liked you as a star. But in real life, you were a pain. Your mom was worried; she thought you would suffer as an independent girl. You scared the boys. Again, you were too much. You needed to understand that the world expected you to behave and do things according to society's book. What book? You didn't understand. 

There's no need for an exchange year. Why so independent? You must depend. But England was waiting for you. Oasis, Spice Girls, The Kooks—your dreams were there. You must go. Independence is there to be conquered, not to fear, so you went. Your world was shaken. The small-town girl was discovering a whole new world with new possibilities, a place where everyone was so different, a world where you learned to make decisions and that every decision had a consequence, the weight of your choices. A world you fell deeply in love with, but you had to go back. You didn't understand.  

Your university time was necessary for you to feel the taste of complete independence. Living away from your parents, making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, and exploring a new city—what's there to explore? You were open to life. Again, the weight of your choices appeared, but for every teardrop, there's a learning that comes from it. Your first job was your first trauma at a job. No woman at the company was in leadership roles for you to aspire to. Why? You didn't understand. 

Your first healthy relationship with a man. Is it possible to be appreciated? Is this a dream? You fell deeply in love. Of course, things were challenging; you never wanted to be seen as emotionally attached to a man. But then you learned that having people you can trust around you was not a bad thing. You always knew the career you wanted for yourself until you didn't. Can my dreams change? You didn't understand. 

You turned your world upside down. A new world awaited you. Can you handle it? It didn't matter how big the challenge was; what mattered was that this was your decision and your choice only. Comfort zone, does it even exist anymore? New friends. New city. New weather. New life. New dreams. Am I too crazy to change what I expected for myself? You didn't understand. 

You always knew the woman you wanted to be. You were so brave until you weren't. Your shine was going out. Fears and comfort zones were taking over. Your dreams were blank. Your directions were blurry. You were lost. But how am I lost if I don't know where I am going? You didn't understand. 

But now, you do understand! As you lived, your courage disappeared, and you understood that the one thing you were sure of was that all the force, shine, and confidence you were born with were still rooted in you. After all, if something is lost, there's a forever hope for it to be found. Society wants your light off. You were never bossy; you were determined. You were never a slut; you knew what you wanted. You were never a demanding professional; you were open to fighting for your worth. You were never emo; you were discovering deep emotions (okay, maybe a bit emo). You were never difficult; you were sick. You were never fat; your body changes and it's okay. 

The world you were born in still doesn't allow women to own it. It's changing, yet is it fast enough? You don't believe so. You found yourself; your work is about women and for women. It is essential to make them see themselves without shame and to show them that it is okay to have strong opinions and positioning. You, more than anyone, always believed in the power of being a woman. Nobody is that resilient, brave, and beautiful. Everything in your life was worth the hustle. 

Cheers to you for never giving up on yourself. Cheers to all the women in your life for teaching you how difficult it is to be a woman. And cheers to all the women in the world. 

I understand you. 

I see you. 

I feel you. 

I am.. you!  

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