Feeling successful (and guilty)..
two emotions that often go hand in hand for women.
(after letting myself be carried away by the happiness of the sun and summer, I am back.)
Yesterday night, I decided to watch Fair Play, a new Netflix movie recommended by my sister, who specifically said I had to watch it with Raf. I didn't know anything about the film besides that it was a thriller, and he loves this genre, so here we are, having dinner on the sofa and pushing play. — fast forward to almost two hours later, as the movie ends, we are both speechless.
My head was exploding with many thoughts and sensations caused by it, but the main question was, what did he think the movie was about? It's deep, stressful, and on point, yet was it for him too (in the eyes of a man)? As I was looking at him, wondering if I should ask, feeling scared of his answer, I thought about how my sister was right to ensure we watched together.
The courage came, and I asked. He was silent, looking away, and the first thing he said was: "How stressful was this, right?" Yet, I was very straightforward and asked again, "Yes, but what did you think this movie was about, and in which part for you was the breakpoint for things to start to escalate?". As he starts talking, I breathe in relief. He did understand the movie; it was not as deep as it was for me, but that is just my life. I am a deep person who wants to understand all the semiotics of the film, especially when it comes to feminist issues, and in this case, it was written and directed by a woman.
(Attention: some spoilers and reflections ahead)
It's a film that puts you on the edge while watching it. Fair Play could be just another movie about how to be a successful woman i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶a̶n̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ ̶i̶n̶d̶u̶s̶t̶r̶y̶ in any industry, adding an extra layer of drama when it's also a situation of working with your boyfriend. This film offers a touching, in-depth look at the taboo (still) surrounding women's success compared to men.
Emily and Luke are the main characters. They just got engaged and work together. She gets the promotion he was expecting to get. And despite Emily's outstanding performance at work, she and Luke struggle to believe she deserves it. It evolves much easier for them to mourn Luke's promotion than to acknowledge Emily's well-deserved achievement because the tension between women's ambition and traditional gender roles explores a woman's difficulty in building her career. Challenging the age-old expectations that women should be submissive or play secondary roles.
Emily's struggle to celebrate also brings to the forefront the issue of impostor syndrome that many successful women experience. Despite their achievements, women often feel unworthy or attribute their success to luck rather than competence, particularly after Luke asks if she did something with their boss to get the promotion.
Another theme in "Fair Play" is the double standard women often face when they succeed more than men. Women are often labeled as 'intimidating' or 'bossy' when they display leadership skills, whereas men are celebrated for the same qualities. Emily starts questioning how she dresses, must speak, or acts to be seen and respected by their new colleagues.
As Luke starts to lose his mind over the matter, it reflects on Emily's mental and emotional well-being. The pressure to downplay her success can lead to stress, anxiety, and self-doubt.
The fear of backlash from peers, colleagues, and even family can deter women from reaching their full potential. They may hold back their success to avoid jealousy, resentment, or being ostracized.
The Chloe Domont movie proved not to be just another movie of women feeling guilty about their success. It shows that the biggest problem is more about her partner's inability to deal with this situation than hers.
She starts to deeply question her worth because he starts to lose his mind trying to understand or find unreal answers about why she got the promotion instead of him.
According to writer-director Domont, the driving force behind writing this piece was the question — how can we dismantle this toxic link between female empowerment and male fragility? Additionally, it is crucial to understand how women can learn to celebrate their successes without feeling like it could negatively impact their partners.
Despite progress, deeply rooted societal expectations and pressures still hinder women from realizing their full potential. Women are often forced to compromise their ambitions or downplay their success, perpetuating an environment of inequality. To break this taboo, it is imperative that society becomes more aware of these issues, supports women in their endeavors, and fosters an environment where success is celebrated irrespective of gender. Only then can we hope to create a world where women can succeed without guilt, fear, or societal backlash.
Will women ever learn to embrace their successes without fearing that they'll hurt their partner? I sure hope so. Encouraging women to pursue their ambitions without fear of judgment is a responsibility that society, especially men, must shoulder.
🟠 #INTERNETFINDS: weekly things worth sharing and consuming 🧠
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