"People don't like seeing happy women."
and it's sad but true!
Every Thursday is my Me & Myself & I date night, a time I eagerly anticipate each week. To prepare for my date, I always try to find something I look forward to, such as a movie to fall in love or to cry, a book, a new recipe to cook, an old episode from a series that can bring me nostalgia, or simply a two-hour call with someone in Brazil to catch up with. And yesterday was a thrill, as a new romantic comedy called The Idea of You just came out, adding a perfect touch to my evening.
It's been a while since rom-coms have been the norm in the movie industry. The world seems to have shifted its focus to more intense narratives like psychological thrillers, action-packed films, and, of course, superhero movies. I, for one, believe that the genre was due for a makeover from its portrayal in the late '90s and early 2000s. It was time for a change, a shift towards more diverse and realistic representations of romance, and I dare to say it's finally here!
I am an advocate for the romantic comedy comeback. The fashion industry is already bringing back many things I thought were long gone, like capri pants and flatform tamanco. Why should we not bring back the magic of this genre?
Since the release of 'Booksmart' in 2019, I have seen a slow yet promising comeback. It's a great film that arrives to update the idea that romance is not only about straight love or romantic relationships; it can also be about love between friends, and it is worth highlighting that it's written and directed by women, something unusual until then. In 2020, 'Emma,' this fresh take on Jane Austen's classic, is quirky and original and, again, made by women. And from 2023, the genre doesn't stop renewing itself with fresh takes like 'Red, White & Royal Blue,' a cheerfully rom-com that embraces inclusion without falling back on stereotypes. 'Sitting in Bars with Cakes ', a story about the importance of friendship comes between laughter and tears because no relationship is only about good times — again made by women. Last but not least, my favorite from last year, 'Anyone But You,' this rom-com hits all the right notes, even if it takes a cheeky detour into risqué territory.
And now, in 2024, we are only in the first semester, and two new classics are here to slay. Música, based on the director-writer real life, Rudy Mancuso, is a heartwarming tale of self-discovery and love that shines on exploring different cultures when being born in a country different from your parents and how to navigate the idea of belonging, which is simply amazing, as the representation of Brazilian culture is very well made. And just yesterday, I watched The Idea of You, this romantic comedy based on a novel believed to be Harry Styles fan fiction, which guarantees laughter, love, and surprises. And yes, I was surprised to be in love with it. Also, it celebrates Anne Hathaway's return to the genre. (*some spoilers alert from now on)
The movie is about a 40-year-old woman, an art gallery owner, and a mother who gets into a relationship with a 24-year-old lead singer of internationally famous boyband August Moon. There's no need to imagine the chaos when the tabloids catch wind of their relationship; it's a scenario ripped straight from reality. "Hayes Caught With a Cougar" and "Sleaziest Mom of the Year?" are just two of the fictional headlines that mirror real-life scandals. (In numerous headlines, Olivia Wilde was described as a thirsty cougar when she started dating Harry Styles.)
Age-gap relationships, especially when the woman is older, confuse us. Instead of just seeing love, society often assumes something is wrong. Most of the time, there's worry about one person having more power. When we see an older woman with a younger man, we tend to be more judgmental, but remember how different (and more acceptable in society) it would be if the genders were reversed. We're used to hearing about predatory behavior in these situations. But this doesn't explain why people have a problem with older women dating younger men. It's too simple and ignores the fact that older men dating younger women isn't criticized as much (or at all).
"The Idea of You" tackles this issue, showing how society treats older women who date younger men. In the movie, Solène feels isolated and ashamed, while Hayes faces almost no consequences. It bravely confronts these double standards. "I didn't expect my happiness to upset so many people," Solène tells her friend Tracy. Tracy responds, "People don't like seeing happy women." This phrase felt like someone throwing a stone at me. It was hard to listen to and difficult to digest, but it was so aligned with the world we live in. Sadly, society seems to dislike women's happiness, especially happy middle-aged women.
The movie also explores why two people with a significant age difference might be attracted to each other: one may want stability after being used by the music industry, while the other missed out on fun experiences in her twenties.
We still struggle to see older women, especially in their forties, fifties, and sixties, as having their own desires unless they're in a traditional relationship with a man their own age. When they're not, they're often labeled as sad or desperate. A scene where younger women try to put Solène down ideally shows this bias: "Who do you think you are?" It's easier for society to use old sexist stereotypes than to accept that older women still have value.
Romantic comedies hold a special place in my heart; their cheesy charm offers a comforting escape in our fast-paced world. For two hours, I'm away into a world of romance, allowing my mind to unwind and indulge in dreams. What truly captivates me is the evolution of the genre to reflect our modern society. These films now balance realism and fantasy, presenting more relatable and empowered female characters not defined solely by their romantic pursuits. The romance is not only romantic; it is about all kinds of relationships. The diversity among writers and directors brings fresh narratives and perspectives to the screen, enriching the genre with new stories and voices previously unseen.
And I can't wait to watch more and see more and more women happy about it!
Cheers to the revival of rom-coms!
🟠 #INTERNETFINDS: weekly things worth sharing and consuming 🧠
Why a Bit of Restraint Can Do You a Lot of Good ➞ The quest for authenticity has spawned salacious memoirs, reality TV shows of escalating disinhibition, and cathartic self-disclosure on social media.
Anitta Reborn: The Brazilian Superstar ➞ Anitta is not afraid to be anything but herself. Proud Brazilian, despite growing up in the favelas of Rio de Janeiro, the superstar just knew that her life would be as glamorous as she always imagined!
Favorite Podcast of The Week ➞ Patric Gagne (Sociopath: A Memoir) is a psychologist and author. Patric and Dax talk about what it’s like to have to mask your true feelings, how everyone needs a different playbook for their lives, and the relationship between sociopathy and anxiety.
A Fun Friendship Quiz ➞ Whoever cast these two knew what they were doing.
Capital Cities - Safe & Sound ➞ I could lift you up. I could show you what you want to see. And take you where you want to be..
“Biases against women its perhaps women’s oldest prejudice.” - Melinda Gates
