What to expect when everyone is expecting?

women, there's no way out but togetherness.

It's me, hi! 

Winter is here and so am I, with too many thoughts fulminating inside me.

Forgive me one more time. What's the best that could happen this time?

Let's find out. 

As Rihanna felt like the only girl in the world, pregnant, "floating" above the field, and with no guests needed, the world watched her Super Bowl performance and, once again, had a lot to say. For some, the best, while for others, the worst. One thing is certain; she broke all expectations. But what should a woman expect when everyone is already expecting?

Last year Dr. Dre performed with many men guests, plus Mary J. Blige. And when a man performs his job well, he will be immediately acclaimed as the expectations were fulfilled. Wait, which expectations? The ones that are never expected, as he already is a well-respected producer, singer, and man. If men are successful, why create expectations? He owns it and that's it. Nothing is questioned or said. On the other hand, women are always the target of the world's dissatisfaction, expectations, and many opinions.

It doesn't matter what Rihanna performed because a lot would have been said anyway. Women are constantly debating their worth because society taught us that if we are successful, we are lucky. Instead of when men are, they are that good. If a woman is doing her job very well, people's often reaction is: "oh, good for you! You are so lucky to have this." Men's success is never debated or related to luck. But how lucky are we to work 200 times more and still be seen as the lucky girl instead of a successful person? 

We were born to self-doubt. We go to therapy to understand our traumas deeply and learn how to navigate them while being a woman, wife, mother, sexy lover, and highly appreciated at work. We are tired to feel exhausted. 

Women's pains are collective, so we should stop treating them as individuals. Accountability is not individual. It needs to be collaborative. Society needs to change. Expectations and opinions need to be stopped. We shouldn't treat in therapy what we all should be dealing with together.

And as I write this, I feel guilty about how many might interpret me as another angry woman going against men. Instead, I'm here to break down how deep a woman's world is and remind you it's not just one person's struggle. This guilt already proves my point about women's difficulties in expressing themselves without self-doubting and expectations. 

🟠 #INTERNETFINDS: weekly things worth sharing and consuming 🧠

Feeling Unsatisfied? Blame ‘Romantic Consumerism’ ➞ The economy of love, and how the proliferation of choices in today’s world may actually burden as often as it liberates us.

When Did We All Become Pop Culture Detectives? ➞ Harvesting Easter eggs is now integral to our consumption of entertainment. But there’s a fine line between perceptiveness and paranoia.

Favorite Podcast of The Week ➞ On the crisis facing boys and men, about their addiction to affirmations from strangers, why young men need guardrails, and how liberating it can be to see the end coming.

Leadership is an Unnatural Act ➞ Alisa Cohn explains how Imposter Syndrome and “natural” leadership are very much related.

Miley Cyrus - Flowers  ➞ I just can’t stop singing and dancing. #icanlovemebetter

To need is individual, but collectively it is a strength.