Would you believe it?

Seriously, sooooo annoying!

During one of my jogging sessions last week, the coach asked me a question on my guided run that caught me off guard: "What is something that someone who deeply knows you would not believe if you started today or participated in?" — nothing came into my mind. 

This question stuck with me until later on that same day, when I signed up for a yoga class in a random studio part of my ClassPass experience, although I would like to give you more context about this place. 

I visited this same studio with a friend last summer for the first time to attend a Vinyasa class, where the professor said he was fasting for more than 24 hours and could faint at some point during the class. Still, in case this happened, he kindly asked everyone not to call an ambulance, instead to breathe on him until he "came back" to life. After hearing this, I had to go on a child's pose and laugh silently (and uncontrollably). It felt like only my friend and I were bothered by the weirdness of this situation as our classmates continued being very concentrated on their poses. Or they were very Swedish and didn't like confrontation. Thankfully, he never fainted. 

Flash forward to a year later, on a Sunday late afternoon, I booked a new class at this studio. This time, I was to attend a Flow Class alone, which I didn't know what it meant, but I liked the description as part of my self-study to try new things due to my inability to quiet my mind. However, I have always hated Yoga and Yogis—people who have spent a lot of their lives doing yoga and studying the philosophy of yoga.   

Meditation and yoga tend to annoy me, precisely because of the ones who practice them and their cult-type relationship with it. Seriously, sooooo annoying! Yet, here I go to force myself to get out of my comfort zone and try to understand what is not understandable to me. Maybe I am addicted to challenges, or am I just (very) curious? 

When I arrived in the studio that Sunday, I felt like a fish out of water, which made me nervous. I took my shoes, jacket, and bag off and couldn't manage the studio locker, which added to my nervousness. As I slowly walked in, I noticed that everyone was very yogi, from their clothes to their vibes, and most were drinking tea. My face screamed, "I don't belong to this environment," so I decided to drink tea to blend in. The tea was too warm. I went to the bathroom to pee and kill some time before the class started, as I was profoundly uncomfortable feeling judged by my classmates. Although, I am sure nobody cared about my presence there. What was I expecting? Only yogis would attend a yoga class on a Sunday at 6 pm; all the ordinary people would either be having pizza, watching something, or simply chilling. Yet, not me, not this time. 

The door for the class opened, and the teacher, or better, the yoga instructor, welcomed us in. She was shorter than me, looked like she came from a very cool Nike Ad, and had the opposite vibe of what I expected, which gave me more confidence that this class would be more normal to me and not very yogi. I chose my mat, took the blanket, the brick, everything, like a pro. Fake it until you make it, right? 

The class started with her welcoming speech, followed by her (literally) crying when she said she was having a bad day and thanked us for being there to improve her day. This time, I didn't feel like laughing but thought about how normal everyone was finding that situation and how unusual the people who worked there were. 

The class started with a breathing flow, which I hate the most. I detest the sound of everyone breathing and making loud noises together. But as I was there, I wanted to embrace this experience fully to ease my mind and maybe, who knows, achieve a meditation state. Meditation, for me, is cooking. Anyway, the class was the opposite of Vinyasa; the flow was due to the breathing and stretching for about 6 minutes in each pose, which was very relaxing, I admit. Not the breathing, but to be able to pull my body in ways I have never done before, feeling like I was growing one or two centimeters. 

As time passed, my mind was embracing the challenge of being less aware and more there. And it was time to lay your body fully on the mat, in which pose you find more comfortable. I took my blanket, covered myself until my belly button, put one hand on top of my belly and the other on my chest and started breathing silently, feeling the air inside my body, in and out. The instructor turned off all the lights and candles; it got very dark and silent for two minutes, and suddenly, she started to sing. I felt for a second like I had died/gone to heaven in a way; everything was dark, and this acapella music began to echo through the room. It was incredibly unexpected and beautiful, her voice was a mix of Joss Stone and Jorja Smith. I opened my eyes to see if it was really the instructor singing, not a radio or something, but it was her. 

I closed my eyes again and kept breathing slowly, feeling my hands on my body. I started having mixed feelings. Some thoughts went through my mind, and at the same time, nothing at all. And then something completely unexpected happened: tears ran down my face. Pause. Breathe. I smiled with my eyes closed and tears on my face. This is it! I get it now! The one who can never relax was deeply relaxed (and happy). 

The class was supposed to last one hour and fifteen minutes, but it lasted almost two hours. The instructor said she got carried away by the unique energy in the room. I confess I got carried away, too. 

Everyone who knows me would find it hard to believe that I did what I just did. But I did it! It was the answer to my guided run question, which, earlier that day, I couldn't think of anything else. It's too early to say that I'm a yogi or that I will ever become one. However, learning something new and experiencing the unknown is both fearful and delightful. I am sometimes too skeptical to believe in something I can't see, but I am never wary of feeling things I have never done before. To feel is to be alive, and that's what I love the most - feeling alive.

What about you? What is something that nobody who deeply knows would believe if you started today or participated in?

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