"You can't really know what it is to want things until you're at least 30."
"You can't really know what it is to want things until you're at least 30." Brooke, Mistress America (2015)
For the past two weeks, this phrase has been on my mind since I decided to rewatch Mistress America, a fantastic movie from 2015 that I watched with my sister back then.
As searching between all the streaming services became exhausting, I decided to rent (and pay) to see a movie I remembered to have loved it. Six years ago, I was a different person from today, thankfully. My values are my core, but overall I believe in having evolved as a human being, so rewatching things is compelling new aspects you may not have noticed before.
My memory about the movie was vague, besides knowing it was about the relationship of two step-sisters, which made the experience even better. Wait, some spoilers ahead. The point here is how the film is a funny yet sad story of a naive 18-year-old and her 30yo sister whom she takes as her role model.
Although they have different personalities and are in opposite moments of life, we learn that it's always easier to understand and judge others than yourself.
In the late teens and early 20s, the feeling of conquering the world shapes most of our goals, you are only starting, but you already draw the perfect end of the road that awaits you. Yet, humans are bad at predicting the future.
Brooke, the 30-year-old character, never really thought about her future; she was dragged into it as if nothing had been planned. As a typical popular high school kid, she still behaves like a promising young woman, free spirit, with no commitment to anyone but herself. However, the time has passed, and the cool kid character turns from promising to outdated, like a constantly dreaming person who never produces anything and is, in fact, stuck.
On the contrary to Brooke, Tracy takes herself too seriously. She is a typical insecure teenager, thinking she deeply knows what she wants but is not good enough to accept herself and chase her dreams. And when she speaks to Brooke about her life plans, Brooke questions her by replying:
"You can't really know what it is to want things until you're at least 30. And then with each passing year it gets bigger... because the want is more, and the possibility is less. Like how each passing year of your life seems faster... because it's a smaller portion of your total life. Like that. But in reverse. Everything becomes total want."
On one side, you have a character who believes that she will become boring if she focuses on something, constantly denying seeing her true self as an adult. And the other thinks she has discovered her life path by the age of 18, and if things don't work out, she doesn't know what to pursue besides writing.
Since I turned 30, my years feel like passing faster, and I am overwhelmed by the number of things I want to accomplish, which sometimes that's precisely what makes me stuck in life. These feelings happen because I feel my 20s were the period of experiencing things, and now, I am building. There's a mindset change in the want.
Some people live in the survival mode, going with the flow, taking chances, risks, constantly changing, dreaming, and thinking if they set goals for the future, they won't be completely free. But planning is part of freedom. It's essential to make plans to create a particular order in life. Yet, now I know nothing is rigorous, I allow myself to fail and feel more. It's that balance we are always looking for it.
And sometimes, watching others' mistakes is where you have your wake-up call. It's easier to understand others than yourself, and by paying close attention, we also learn from them. We are susceptible to the stories we tell ourselves. Be sure that you're the writer and not just the reader, because you can be your own trap in the end.
(a little therapy never killed nobody)
🟠 #INTERNETFINDS: things I read it’s worth consuming and sharing.
Girlboss is over? ➞ The term is dead, but for many women it was essential.
Am I An Influencer Yet? ➞ The actress Sarah Ramos debates what it needs to be an influencer.
Self-Isolation Is A Recipe For Depression ➞ How a global health crisis built the perfect conditions for pessimism, a different perspective behind the #wfh.
My Year Of Saying Yes To Everything ➞ Shonda Rhimes, creator of Grey's Anatomy and many more, talks about her interesting journey through her "year of yes".
Nelly + Kelly Rowland ➞ A flashback worth watching for you to feel old and happy.